Arabelle has been sick the last few days and I in turn have caught a little something as well. I took her to the doctor on Monday morning when I could see that things weren't getting better on their own. My little girl just wasn't herself. When we were at the doctors office there was a slue of people in the waiting room and I just knew it was going to be awhile before we got to see him. I remember last time we were there for a routine checkup and she was exploring all over the place, she was of course not sick at that time. So I sat down in the waiting room wondering how this was going to play out and my little girl just laid on me and waited patiently until they called us back. Once they called us into our own room they checked her temperature and it was at 104 so they immediately brought in Motrin to bring it down. She fought the nurse, screamed and cried. The nurse left the room and I began to sing songs through my cracked voice to try and soothe my sick little girl. I looked down and there she was asleep in my arms. This is rare, as in hasn't happened since the newborn stage. She just isn't one of those sleep anywhere kinda babies. As much as I hated that she was sick, I savored every moment of her sleeping in my arms.
When I told Matt I sang to her as softly as I could but it sounded horrible because my voice kept cracking he said, "it doesn't matter to her what you sound like, your her mom, it's as simple as that."
The rest of the week has been a lot of holding, rocking, singing, soothing and just loving on her. Again, I don't get to do these things often, she is always on the go...because that's what kids do at her age. This has given me time to pray over her and sing over her and think about something we discussed in bible study this week. When it comes to our prayer life, how often do we just come before the Father and just be still? I honestly don't know how to do this. I always feel like I need to speak to him about what I want/need/am thankful for. All these things are a part of a prayer life but so is just being before the Lord.
As a parent this is hitting home with me this week. So often Arabelle is requesting things from me and rarely does she just sit with me. I love taking care of her needs and playing with her but more than anything I adore her just simply saying "mama" and wanting me to hold her. Just hold her, love on her, and allow her to be still with me. As much as it breaks my heart to see her not feel well...it fills my soul to just be with her.
I'm continually amazed at what the Lord teaches me through children. I get it now. I understand another part the Lord is calling me to surrender. I know I won't always get it right but I will continue to look to my child to be reminded that I too am a child, a child of our heavenly Father and he want's me in these same ways. Like Matt reminded me about my signing, you can come to the father with no words or even with a cracking voice and he adores it because your his child. It really is that simple.
“I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters,says the Lord Almighty.”
2 Corinthians 6:18